i heard a podcast about this woman and was moved to action; i read her article and i was moved to tears. daily i lose myself in the mothering of my dear, young children and i realized that i am also losing myself to self-deprecation. my children are beautiful, it's easy to see why pictures and posts about them are transcendent.
but me?
why say anything about myself? what do i offer in a 'glamour' shot or why is a 'cute' thing i did worth sharing? believe me, there is nothing glamorous or cute about this mama. but there is something noteworthy and beautiful; it's the unkempt hair, the bags under my eyes, the fluff-and-stuff around my mid-section, the snapping and sighing in frustration while cleaning up poop, boogers and throw-up.
i hide it because it's not creamy white like Eliza's cheeks, it's not drop-dead gorgeous like Jade's eyes
- it's not easy to look at.
but i am the life-blood of my home. i am here day in and day out; sweating, crying, laughing, jiggling, teaching, cleaning, cooking, praying and all the while trying to sweep myself under the rug with all the other unpleasant things that collect in the corners.
but no more.
i am a mama, i am beautiful and i am present.
self-portraits
2 comments:
You are so beautiful! I love this post. And your writing is so eloquent. I really enjoy the way you put words together.
Welcome to Motherhood, Miriam! You are the life-blood, the glue, the heart of your family. They think you are amazing....truth is so do we, but to them you are all!! They love you just how you are! But you can be beautiful too, not that you aren't, but showers, stylish hair-cuts, clean clothes (even a little dressy, once in a while) will make you feel even better--even if you don't have anywhere to go except to be in front of your beautiful family. I don't think I started dressing up a little until I was sure peanut butter and snot wouldn't be smeared on my pants, but hey...it washes! Love you!
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