sweet memory lane

i found these photos today and i instantly cried.

and i may still be crying, though it's the tenth time i've looked at them.

i cried because we don't live in that house anymore; for two years we tended the flowers, vacuumed the carpets, peered out the windows, soaked in the sunshine, played with toys, colored, laughed, broke down, got back up again, and took many first steps together.

i cried because jade is not a little munchkin anymore. she is tall, she has hair, and her cheeks and ears have finally receded and her eyes eat me alive every day that she continues to exist. she doesn't fit in my arms like that anymore. but at least she still fits in my lap. what will i do when she is so big that she can't fit in my heart and needs more than just her mother's love? i won't let it happen - ever.

she's mine forever.

i cried because that is not me anymore. you grow and you change. don't ever take for granted who you are today because that's not who you will be tomorrow. and something inside you, which you can't explain, will miss it. you will miss it's innocence, it's foolishness, it's shortcomings and simply the fact that you can't ever be who you were yesterday.

so live it up my friends.

photos by sarah smylie